English status

###English...,###

1. His story is History, My
Story is Mystery.
2. Phones are better than
girlfriends, At least we
can switch off.
3. Smile today, tomorrow
could be worse.
4. The difference between
stupidity and genius is
that genius has its limits.
5. If you don’t succeed at
first, hide all evidence
that you tried.
6. Stop worrying about the
world ending today. It’s
already tomorrow in
Australia.
7. Cell phones these days
keep getting thinner and
smarter… people the
opposite.
8. Diet rule #1: If nobody
sees you eating it, it
doesn’t contain any
calories.
9. I love my job only when
I’m on vacation
10. Friends come and go, but
enemies remain and
build up.
11. Never test how deep the
water is with both feet.
12. The richer you get, the
more expensive
happiness becomes.
13. Parachute for sale, used
once, never opened!!
14. My wife dresses to kill.
She cooks the same way.
15. FREE PUPPIES: Half
cocker spaniel, half
sneaky neighbors dog.
16. Behind every successful
man is a surprised
woman.
17. In my house I’m the
boss, my wife is just the
decision maker.
18. I’m not online, it’s just
an optical illusion.
19. That’s the secret to life…
replace one worry with
another.
20. If there is a “WILL”,
there are 500 relatives.

###Cool English.. Status. ###

1. How is a poor man a lot
like a rich man? They
both have an iPhone.
2. Some people call me
Mike, you can call me
tonight.
3. When inspiration does
not come to me, I go
halfway to meet it.
4. Whatever it is — I didn’t
do it!
5. Sometimes you
succeed…. and other
times you learn.
6. There are three sides to
an argument – your side,
my side and the right
side.
7. When there’s a will, I
want to be in it.
8. Failure is not an option
— it comes bundled with
Windows.
9. I always dream of being
a millionaire like my
uncle!… He’s dreaming
too.
10. I believe there should be
a better way to start
each day… instead of
waking up every
morning.
11. When I was kidnapped,
my parents snapped into
action. They rented out
my room.
12. Scratch here
▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒ to
reveal my status 
13. I’d rather have honest
enemies than fake
friends.
14. My “last seen at” was
just to check your “last
seen at”.
15. Not always “Available”..
Try your Luck..
16. Hey there whatsapp is
using me.
17. I’m not lazy, I’m on
energy saving mode.
18. You can never buy
Love….But still you have
to pay for it.
19. Totally available!! Please
disturb me!!
20. “Success” all depends on
the second letter.